
Yesterday the When I Grow Up project came to an end. It was a project that I had been working on all term, culminating in an exhibition at The Shop which over 100 people braved the cold to come and see. Throughout the exhibition people asked me ‘what gave you the idea’ or ‘what do you think of growing up,’ and I didn’t really have an answer. So I thought about it. And it starts at the American Cemetery.

On a really cold autumn day I decided to cycle to the Cambridge American Cemetery. Despite the fact that I had to cross several motorways, I thought the sense of achievement would be worth it, and so after 40 minutes of getting lost and almost joining the M11 by mistake I arrived. It was pretty amazing. I’d been to Dunkirk but years and years ago, and I’d forgotten the scale and symmetry of the military graveyards.

There was no-one else in the whole place (apart from a solitary gardener), and I walked through the graves thinking about how young everyone was when they died. My age. These Americans were so grown up they were fighting for their country, and there I was still being looked after, going back to my family in the holidays and living with my friends in term time.

What makes someone ‘grow up’? Fighting did it for the people in the cemetery. A soldier of just 20 had won the Medal of Honor and his name was embossed on the wall. It was so tranquil in the cemetery and suddenly I had an idea. To find out what growing up meant to people. Was it when their parents split up? Was it when they realised they had to get a job? Or when they split up with their first boy or girlfriend? After a few days I came up with the When I Grow Up kit, a way for people to record their memories, dreams, fears, drawings and ideas about growing up.

I sent it out to people in Cambridge who wanted to participate, and was lucky enough to be featured in Varsity which got the project more attention and more responses. Around 40 people returned their kits, most with intricate and detailed responses about how they had found growing up. Though originally I just wanted to make a magazine, the way people returned the kits were so detailed and different that it never would have done it justice. So I decided to have a one night exhibition.
Since tents are ‘my thing‘ and Anna is really good at putting them up I decided that an exhibition of four tents: one each for dreams, one for fears, one for memories and one for people’s own responses would be best. In a day and a half I managed to put them all up (with lots of help from Megan and Anna!) and then I added a fan for the dreams, a uv light for the fears, my mum reading out memories and pens for people to contribute themselves.




I also added a shop with t-shirts, bags and magazines to document the project (though some people looked like they’d never seen a shop in an exhibition and called me a ‘capitalist’..).



I also put a film in the exhibition featuring films about how 1950s children were supposed to grow up. In the 30 minute compilation there were tips about getting a date, getting a job, being confident and being quiet. Though a lot of the scenes were quite comical it showed how grappling with growing up is hardly a new phenomenon.
Over the course of 4 hours (7-11pm) people came and looked at other people’s responses to the question of growing up, and after looking at other people’s they decided for themselves what growing up was, and wrote it inside the final tent. 
It was also nice as a lot of people came off the street to see what was happening, including a family and several teachers. The fact that there was so much space to talk in the middle of the room and dream tent gave the exhibition a real sense of community.

It was quite sad to take everything down after 11 (though it only took about 15 minutes, with the help of Maz, Lucy, Lowell and Anna) but I felt that I had really explored what it is to Grow Up. Originally I thought that it meant you had to “realize you weren’t special” or “realize that you have to compromise,” but what the project taught me is that ‘growing up’ isn’t a bad thing. It’s a normal thing. And ultimately, everyone has the same worries, concerns, dreams and fears about it. The whole point is that we take the good and the bad and go forward. With each other. Not looking too far past the horizon. Just like the people I’d seen in the cemetery had done. And then whatever happens, happens.